Be gentle
with yourself. Treat yourself as you
would treat your mother, child, or best friend. Give yourself all the compassion and understanding that you need. Love yourself, with all your imperfections,
with all of your pain. Your pain is not
a punishment. Your pain does not mean
you are less worthy than other people without pain. Everyone has something to bear.
Some people may seem to be problem-free, but no one has it made. Life is not easy. We have to work at making our life good for ourselves. Unnecessary demands or expectations increase
our stress and pain. Criticism and
self-pity make each day harder. Feel
warmth and kindness towards yourself.
Soften your heart. Ease up on
your anger and perfectionism.
Balinda works
as a caregiver for the elderly. I have referred several clients to her over the
years because she is so good. Balinda is very kind and hardworking.
Over time,
I came to know Balinda pretty well. I found out she suffered from chronic back
pain, which she frequently aggravated transferring people. Once I found that
out, I arranged to have needed equipment in place and at times another
caregiver to work with her. I started pestering Balinda to wear a back support
and to let others know she couldn’t do certain tasks. Balinda would complain
and say she didn’t want special treatment.
Balinda
made it clear, she felt unworthy. She worked through meals, wore old clothes
and never had any fun. She was divorced and lived with her daughter and her
family. Although only 50, she often said her life was behind her and her goal
now was to help her grandchildren.
Balinda
said it was not worth the time and effort it would take to see a doctor or to
even soak in the tub. She frequently said she didn’t need anything and didn’t
like frills like getting her hair done.
The client
she was caring for died and I lost contact with her for about a year. I ran
into her accidentally and was surprised by the change. “You were right!” she
shouted, with a huge smile. Her hair and nails were done and she was wearing
new clothes. She was dating, going out and having fun. Her health was stable,
she sees a doctor and her pain is under good control. She still works as a
caregiver, but lets people know upfront what her limitations are. She’s pleased
most people are supportive.
“I am worth
it,” she told me with a wink. I was so happy that the caregiver was finally
taking care of herself.
Do not
expect more of yourself than what you can do.
Appreciate your many good qualities.
Work on aspects of yourself that you want to change, but if you fall
short or make a mistake, forgive yourself.
I have seen many people treat their dogs better than they treat
themselves. Today, be gentle with
yourself.
Exercise – Be Your Own Caretaker
Once I accepted that I “Need more” than many people to feel good, I have thrived.
I need:
More down time
More fun
More play
More massages
More alternative treatments
More whirlpool baths
More kind words
More quiet
More quality meals
More time to exercise and stretch
More meditation/prayer
More love
Once I started meeting my own needs, even though they seemed excessive, I am healthier and more giving. I no longer feel they are excessive; it’s just what I need.
What do you need to be your own caretaker?